You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
