I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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