and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
My bed smells like the plague
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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