I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
