I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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