You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize
