I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
