Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize