I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
