I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
