hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
