I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
