she looked like the bat from fern gully.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
