maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Randomize
