hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
