Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
