She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I have post one night stand depression
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
