And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
