Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
