She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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