So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
