I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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