i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
