It's Friday. Sex?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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