My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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