guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
