I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
