bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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