Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
