i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
