We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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