need another drink. this is the easiest way
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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