Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize