I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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