By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
