Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
