Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
