i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
So squirting runs in the family.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
