why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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