Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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