i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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