My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
