I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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