Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
