Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize