I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
