garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
