I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
