Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
