She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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