i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
When are your genitals available?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize