everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
