My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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