I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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