never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
