Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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