his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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