He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize