Will you blow on my dice?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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