how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
