On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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