Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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