I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
