Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
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