just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
